Mrs Newman said

Every since Mrs Newman's sixth form English class, where I learnt language evolves over time, I have had a growing fascination with helping the English language change. I think it is because I am a revolutionary at heart except I have not quite found what it is I am to revolutionise so I have settled for the English language in the meantime.

In fact I would have to say I have a perverse sense of pleasure in taking liberties with my noble mother tongue. The rules of grammar should only be guidelines in the use of the language, I believe. The only guideline that should really be enforced, much like a rule I suppose, is that people can understand you. I am not sure Mrs Newman would approve but it is another way I keep myself entertained.

For example I like modifying existing words. Bettera is the word that describes a situation that has gone past just being better. Brightera describes something that is gaining luminosity. Favouritist is something that is even bettera than favourite. By the way Mrs Newman would have to be one of my favouritist teachers of all time.

My workmates also share this delightful past-time with me and we now a workplace vernacular that really would have Mrs Newman perplexed.

Vanaging is the quick version of saying "We are driving the van back to where it is housed overnight."
Sconage time describes the habit of one workmate who usually at about 9.30am walks down to the shop to buy a scone for morning tea.

Lately I have also been experimenting with the pronunciation of words. For example gurrate is the way you feel in a situation where you feel like grinding your teeth and getting grumpy but in the interests of public decorum or keeping your job you smile sweetly and pretend everything is great. Burrzare is a polite way of saying this situation is bizarre and it gives me the shivers.

One day my aim is to invent a whole new voacbulary. That may be a way off in the distance though because so far I have not invented a new word.

I should quickly add this fascination of mine is a paradox because in my line of work I have to be very precise in the way I use language. I write to the age level of a 12-year-old and I am only allowed to paraphrase and quote what the people I interview say.

This means I have to be very circumspect about when I am inventive with language. Definitely not when interviewing people. Probably not a good idea in front of her majesty, the queen  nor at a job interview. Nor when talking to children, before whom one should always set a good example.

It is all about remembering who you are and where you are.