I would define an opinion as a set of beliefs one holds on a
given subject. I really believe an
opinion, the set of beliefs one holds on a given subject, should result from a
careful analysis of the facts available and hope my opinions are like this. If
an opinion is not based on fact then one starts to get on slippery territory. History
is full of examples when someone’s opinion, not based on fact, became the governing opinion of the day and had disastrous
consequences. Eg Hitler’s opinion about the superiority of the Aryans resulted
in the genocide of millions of non-Aryans.
I have reached the place where I do not usually worry too
much if people do not agree with my opinion. I do have some fairly left field
opinions that are counter status quo and are a little too confrontational for
some. So it is understandable people would not agree with them. But also I have
realised thankfully in my old age that an opinion is simply that. It is just
what I think. It is my perception of the facts that determines what I believe
about a subject. It is personal to me.
So why is it are we so threatened by the opinions of others?
I have noticed that this does happen. Is it because we think everyone should think like us and when they don't we get tetchy and defensive? I am not sure.
Could it be insecurity, immaturity or pride?
In actual fact instead of reacting to someone’s opinion with
an avalanche of reasons why what they believe is misguided, which is what often
happens in conversation, I should be mature enough to say….. “that is an interesting
opinion - tell me what led you to that conclusion? ”
I would like to listen to people without giving in to the temptation to tell them what they are sharing is wrong, because it is my impression, I was told that in my younger years. To be told that your opinions are wrong can be quite disconcerting. It can cause you to question your own worth. When someone tells you what you have shared is wrong, you can interpret that as meaning everything about you is wrong which of course is an erroneous conclusion.
One of my favourite how-to-communicate books, states a
helpful way to think about what other people have to say, is to view it as a
gift and be grateful they shared. So I guess that is a starting place then. If
what people share is a gift, I can unwrap it, check it out and decide whether I
want to keep it or not. I am not sure that is what the book meant but at least
I have listened with an open mind and heard what the person had to say. That
has to be better than trying to persuade people what they believe is wrong.
Because at the end of the day, when all is said and done, when
the fat lady has finished singing, the final curtain has fallen and push comes to shove an opinion
is just what someone thinks. I have the
choice whether I believe what is said or not. It has no power over me unless I
give it power.
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