Your pants are on fire

Somebodys lied to me the other day. It should not really be such a big deal. People tell lies all the time.

Except I do not like being lied to.

It was very obviously a lie because they had told my workmate the opposite of what they told me. How stupid is that?

I felt a little disappointed, a little betrayed when I found out. As I always do when people lie to me. How can you trust someone who lies? How can you have a meaningful relationship with someone who lies?

Someone in my family, I can't remember who, said  you have to have a good memory if you are going tell lies. That is true,  I believe. It is no good telling a lie and then forgetting what you said. How can you keep up a pretense,  if you can not remember what pretense it is,  you are trying to keep up?

It is also true if you are going to tell the truth you need to have a good memory. In fact if you are going to speak at all you need to have a good memory, else without really realising it and unintentionally, you could tell a lie.

That is why, while I do not like being lied to, I try not to get too obsessive about it. I do know some people who are rabidly vehement they hate liaring but with my own ears I have heard them  lie. It was worth more than my life to point the lie out to them because they are so anti-lie telling.

However, I believe,  they believed, they were telling the truth at the time the lie left their mouth. Their memory let them down.

And the conclusion I drew from little incidents like that is  unless you have a photographic memory,  the chances are, you are going to misrecall something that happened and tell a porky. And the conclusion I drew from that is walk humbly and be ready to be corrected if someone does catch you out. Don't be dogmatic. Don't be proud. Be willing to accept you might have got it wrong.

So while I really do not like lies, it is lies of the intentional, deliberate sort that really rotate my rotisserie. Lies that try and manipulate me into doing something I might not want to do if I knew the truth. Lies that only give half the picture. Lies that tell me what people think I might want to hear. Lies that are told by people too gutless to tell the truth. Lies that try to get my sympathy vote.


I try very hard not to tell these kind of lies myself and while I am committed to truth telling, I am not that deluded to think that if put under pressure I might avoid telling the truth. Be careful not to think you are perfect in case you stuff up.

I can cope with lies that are told in innocence. My memory is not as good as it could be. Sometimes I don't remember a situation the way others do.  There is a chance I could tell a lie when describing something that happened.

But I would prefer people didn't intentionally lie to me unless they want to lose my trust.

PS. Mumma said a little white lie never hurt anybody but I am sorry Forrest on this occasion I believe Mumma was wrong. A lie is a lie no matter what colour it is. And that is all I want to say about that.

You are not in Kansas now Dorothy

I know it is a little zany but I like to drop one-liners from movies into conversations whenever I get the chance. I find it somewhat amusing. I do believe one has to create one's own fun sometimes in life.

It is amusing when people recognise the one-liner and laugh. It is also amusing when people do not recognise it and give you a blank look. I like to deliver my one-liners in the voice that mimics the actor or actress who first said it which could be one reason people give me a blank look if they don't recognise the one-liner. Mimicry is not something I am especially gifted at.

Franky my dear I don't give a damn is one of my favourites but you do have to be careful when and where you use it. I first watched Gone with the wind when I was 14 and it was a memorable life defining three-and-a-half hours-long, moment somehow. I think it was at the end of the movie when Scarlett said "tomorrow is another day" that cinched it as life defining. I saw the movie again when I was 24 and it still captivated me. However, and it is a very large HOWEVER, when I saw the movie late last year some 20 years since I had last seen it, I could have slapped Katie Scarlett O'Hara. Someone needed to. I could not believed how badly behaved she was. I struggled to watch it even knowing that two of my favourite one-liners of all time were coming up.

Now, there is a limitation with my one-liner collection because most of my one-liners either are found in Gone with the wind or Forest Gump. Not a serious problem if you have seen Forest Gump as many times as I have which reminds me I have not seen it for a while.

I have to confess I have seen that movie so many times I know parts of it off by heart. Who could forget such classics as Jenny and me were like peas and carrots, mumma always said life is like a box of chocolates, I guess sometimes there just ain't enough rocks, stupid is as stupid does, that boy is a running fool, run Forest run.

There are a few others I use but not as often as Forest Gumpers. Houston we have a problem, You're terrible Muriel, We're on a mission from God, Who you gonna call.

The best part about one-liners is fitting them into a conversation. It takes courage, especially if you are in a job interview and cerebal dexterity, but it really is very amusing and satisfying.

Now I wonder where I put that Forest Gump dvd?

How hard is it to be interested anyway?

I have had two rather burrzar conversations with salespeople of the male variety lately.

These conversations contrast badly with another I had.

It all started when I decided I wanted to update my laptop. However being a money conscious sort of a gal I decided I wanted to pay about $900 for a computer that was worth $1200.

I know that sounds incredibly naive of me and even a little scroogy perhaps. But not really needing one I decided I could bide my time and buy one for a price that suited me.

A major chain of appliance shops opened a store in my little town so I went in for a look. I told the young man exactly what I wanted and told him I was in no hurry - did he have anything in the shop fitting my requirements.

He was so polite. He showed me what was available. And then he remembered a special offer that finished yesterday which would have been exactly what I wanted. Bother I said. I would have bought that computer. He advised me to keep coming in to check on the specials.

I was very impressed with that young man. He went out of his way to be helpful even when I told him my unrealistic expectations.

In contrast to this are two male sales assistants I met last week. I told them exactly the same story and they did not give a monkeys. They shifted from foot to foot not really wanting to talk to me. One went back to unpacking boxes while I asked him questions. He was the one who asked me what was my occupation and did I realise they are lucky to make $50 on a laptop.

Who can blame them for their lack of interest? I don't really. I was very offhand and had unrealistic expectations. But what happens if I had been testing their customer service technique and if they passed I would have bought a computer from them anyway?

Or what happens if I had changed my mind about what I wanted when I realised I was not going to be able to buy the kind of laptop I was after?

I would sooner pay a little more for a laptop from the helpful young man than a cheaper one from those other two.

Which reminds me. I must remember to listen to people like what they are sharing is very important.